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NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn't accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover's built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text "press any key to continue". It is not conclusive yet, but the NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars. The cd player was stolen. The Mars Pathfinder was renamed today in honor of the late astronomer, Carl Sagan. The craft will henceforth be referred to as bha memorial station. You've probably heard about the Mars Pathfinder probe. Once it lands on the red planet, pathfinder will release the sojourner rover, a little laboratory on wheels. Sojourner will cruise about the martian surface performing experments. It turns out that sojourner and pathfinder will communicate using two standard, off-the-shelf 9600 baud radio modems. According to jet propulsion laboratory program manager Donna Shirley, the modem manufacturer warned jpl that sending the modem to mars would void the warranty. At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon. The Redheads speak up "That's been done before, we're going to go to Mars". The Blondes speak up "That's nothing, we're going to be the first people to go to the Sun". One of the reporters says "Don't you idiots know that you'll burn up?" The Blondes say "NO WE WON'T; WE'RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!" Many folks have written with perfectly plausible explanations about why merchants take my phone number on a credit card charge. What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card, I'm not about to give out a correct phone number. They make no effort to validate the phone number before I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people. Now then... Why are they collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people? I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that theives have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card. The following appeared on the back page of one of Australia's more outrageous computer publications, "Computing Australia", 21st Sept 1987: ... Blame it on the computer. An unfriendly computer has been held responsible for a "potentially lethal error" involving a Mafia loan collector. A New York paper inadvertently put the `heavy' in the running for a pair of custom-fitted concrete shoes when it identified him as a "ruthless informer". According to a published retraction (and apology!), a writer on the paper had actually typed "ruthless enforcer" - but the computer system's spelling checker liked it the other way. And I thought the worst you could expect from a "computer error" was a bill for a million dollars! Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Look! He's moving!" The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
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Lấy ở đâu ra

Thuyền trưởng hỏi thi một thí sinh của trường hàng hải :

- Nếu cơn bão đến từ phía bên phải con tàu thì anh sẽ làm gì ?

- Tôi sẽ thả neo.

- Từ phía mũi tàu ?

- Tôi thả neo thứ hai.

- Từ phía đuôi tàu ?

- Tôi thả cái neo nữa.

- Anh lấy ở đâu ra nhiều neo thế ?

- Thế thưa thầy lấy ở đâu ra mà nhiều bão như vậy ?

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mục: Công việc, trường học | tags: , , , ,


Chẳng nghe thấy gì cả

Thầy giáo trẻ hỏi học sinh:
– Ai đã hái trộm táo của trường và còn làm gãy cả cành?
– (Im lặng)
– Thầy cao giọng hỏi đầy vẻ ám chỉ: Nào Peter, em có biết không?
– Thưa thầy, em ngồi ở cuối lớp nên chẳng nghe thấy thầy hỏi gì ạ.
- Em nói thế nào ấy chứ. Thôi được rồi, tôi sẽ có cách kiểm tra. Bây giờ em hãy thử hỏi tôi một câu gì đó, xem tôi có nghe rõ không?
– Vâng ạ, xin thầy hãy nói xem, hôm qua ai đã hôn chị gái em ở dưới gốc cây sồi già?
– Peter, em nói rất đúng. Thầy chẳng nghe thấy em hỏi gì cả.

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mục: con nít, trường học | tags: , ,


Bố than phiền về cô

Cô giáo bảo Tèo:
- Em học lười thì chỉ làm khổ bố mẹ thôi.
- Bố em lại bảo rằng, chính cô mới làm bố khổ, phải suy tư nhiều và thỉnh thoảng còn mất ngủ.
- Em không đùa đấy chứ? – Thoáng đỏ mặt, cô giáo hỏi lại. Em nói rõ hơn đi?
- Vâng ạ, vì cô cho nhiều bài tập về nhà quá, bố em làm không xuể.

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mục: con nít, trường học | tags: , , , ,


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