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The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason (long logical explanation follows)." In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...". Across all segments of the media landscape, entrepreneurs and executives are pioneering online business models that combine a free offering with a premium, paid offering. This hybrid business model is one of the most exciting areas of business model innovation impacting the world of media and the Freemium Summit will explore the most important topics on the minds of leading practitioners. Taken aback, the physicist thinks a bit and asks, "I wish that the Princeton tokamak would achieve scientific fusion energy break-even." After another deliberation the genie asks, "Could I see that map again?" What is the difference between a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician? If an engineer walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it on the fire and puts it out. If a physicist walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it eloquently around the fire and lets the fire put itself out. If a mathematician walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he convinces himself there is a solution and leaves. An experimental physicist performs an experiment involving two cats, and an inclined tin roof. The two cats are very nearly identical; same sex, age, weight, breed, eye and hair color. The physicist places both cats on the roof at the same height and lets them both go at the same time. One of the cats fall off the roof first so obviously there is some difference between the two cats. What is the difference? One cat has a greater mew. French physicist Ampere (1775-1836) had two cats, one big and a one small, and he loved them very much. But when the door was closed cats couldn't enter or exit the room. So Ampere ordered two holes to be made in his door: one big for the big cat, and one small for the small cat. A psychologist makes an experiment with a mathematician and a physicist. He puts a good-looking, naked woman in a bed in one corner of the room and the mathematician on a chair in another one, and tells him: "I´ll half the distance between you and the woman every five minutes, and you´re not allowed to stand up." the mathematician runs away, yelling: "in that case, I´ll never get to this woman!". After that, the psychologist takes the physicist and tells him the plan. The physicist starts grinning. the psychologist asks him: "but you´ll never get to this woman?", the physicists tells him: "sure, but for all practical things this is a good approximation." There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, "I've got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum." Arriving home very drunk A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home." The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"
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Tuần học đầu tiên

Sau tuần học đầu tiên ở trường, cô bé 6 tuổi bày tỏ với mẹ:

- Con nghĩ mình đang phí hoài thời gian ở cái nơi đó!

- Sao thế con yêu? – mẹ bé hỏi.

- Họ biết con không thể đọc, không thể viết, vậy mà họ lại còn không cho con nói chuyện với các bạn trong lớp nữa.

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Phân biệt S và X

Trong giờ ngữ pháp, cô giáo nói:

Hôm nay chúng ta hoc cách phân biệt sờ nặng và sờ nhẹ. Để cho các em dể nhớ cô chỉ cho các em nhé. Các em có nhìn tháy chữ “S” này không? các em có thấy có cái mỏ như mỏ chim không? Còn đây là chữ sờ nhẹ “X”, trong nó giống như cánh bướm.

Cả lớp cùng đồng thanh đọc với cô sau đó cô bảo:

- Bây giờ các em đã biết thế nào là sờ nặng, thế nào là sờ nhẹ rồi, em nào lấy ví dụ cho cô nào ?

Một bạn gái đứng lên:

_ Em thưa cô, sờ chim là sờ sung sướng ạ !

Cô giáo:

- Đúng rồi em giỏi quá, đấy là sờ nặng, còn sờ nhẹ ai lấy vi dụ về sờ nhẹ nào ?

Một em trai phát biểu:

-Sờ bướm là sờ xấu xa ạ!

_ Ôi, các em giỏi quá, đúng rôì, giờ chúng ta đọc lại cho thật thuộc nhé.

Và cả lớp đồng thanh đọc:

Sờ nặng là sờ chim

Sờ chim là sờ sung sướng

sờ nhẹ là sờ bướm

sờ bướm là sờ xấu xa

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Một vụ… hãm hiếp!

Trong giờ sinh vật, cô giáo hỏi học sinh:

- Tại sao con cá thờn bơn lại mỏng dẹt vậy?

Johnny giơ tay:

- Thưa cô vì nó bị con cá voi híp!

Cô giáo không kìm chế nổi:

- Biến khỏi lớp học, và nếu không có phụ huynh thì đừng có quay lại lớp. Chúng ta tiếp tục buổi học. Thế còn ai biết, tại sao mắt của con tôm lại to và lồi ra thế không?

Johnny đã ra tới cửa:

- Đơn giản là con tôm cũng có mặt ở cạnh đó và trông thấy tất cả.

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